, ,

It never really occurred to me, until today, how different my world just became.  I have always been a writer.  I published my first poems at age 9, and won lots of contests throughout school, but then I quit writing for anyone but myself. 

Posting blogs was a natural thing.  I loved sitting down in front of my screen late a night with a glass of whiskey.  It felt like I was writing into the void, clearing my mind of whirling thoughts and confused emotion through the rhythm of my fingers hitting the keyboard.  The truth is, until this point, the art blog didn’t really matter.  It was great when people commented.  But if they didn’t, I wasn’t bothered.  I had said what I needed and I was done. 

Now, it feels like all of that has changed.  Publishing the book makes my writing, and my thinking, public.  Trying to market the book makes me feel like I’m starting all over again.  Nobody knows me, they have no reason to trust me, and I have to prove myself like I did when I decided to go full time into my art.  While it is exciting, it is also daunting. 

This afternoon, I approached the first bookstore outside my area about doing a reading.  I got a very standard response to what must have been a very standard query.  It was quite the awakening.  The difference, for me, between this and when I started out as an artist, is that in the art world people usually know in the first 10 seconds whether or not they like your art.  In the literary world, I have to convince them to open, and then read the book.  Wow.  That’s a huge commitment on their part.  It is much bigger than money.  It is time out of their life. 

I am so grateful for the preorders that have come in for Shaping Destiny, and for the response to the book launch invitations.  I think we are going to have a very full house.  Now, I only hope I won’t disappoint and that my learning curve is steep.